There’s an equation that gave me some thought as I stared at my computer for the fifth night in a row. My Word program was open, but nothing was on the blank page. It was disturbingly reminiscent of my writer’s block a few years ago, and it’s making me wonder if I did something to sabotage that instance, too.
I’m having some trouble getting my thoughts together. At first, I thought it was lack of sleep. So I made a vicious attempt to get seven hours. However, even though my body is feeling better, my mind remains sluggish. Regaining my sleep quotient will take a while, I know, but I’m starting to discover that sleep may not be the only culprit of my lethargy.
For the last week, I’ve come home with the full intention of cleaning my apartment, posting a blog entry, writing in my book (one of them), and ending the day with a soothing meditation. The reality has included plopping in front of my computer and watching old dance routines of Quest Crew members on “So You Think You Can Dance” and “America’s Best Dance Crew”. I laughed, I cried, I sighed at their clever antics and their sincere enjoyment of being together. It made me wish that I had been born a dancer. And six years later in life. And on the West Coast. And a man.
But I digress.
Recently, I’ve taken on several other jobs to supplement my main income. This has left me little time to do much else than plan for the next meeting or session, and it’s bothering me. I’ve literally lost the desire to move whenever I have free time. That’s not me, and I hate that it’s become me.
My goals in life are simple:
- Proofreading and editing
- Peace of mind
Why is it I haven’t been involved in any of these things lately?
Time for another evaluation of my ultimate destiny.
Good thing I never tire of that.