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Just the Bee

JusMeJusB…Just Me, Just Her

 A week or so ago, I was searching the internet for, oh, the usual suspects. A little YouTube, a little Realtor.com, a little web design tips.

And, of course, a little Tiny Buddha.

This time around, I was having trouble with my overthinking about my place in the world, why it is that everyone else I know has somebody they can go to when times get rough. My low self-esteem and the fact that I’m often told how “special” I am just makes me want to kick someone in the teeth.

Tiny Buddha, an amazing site of spiritual wisdom, had something for my pain, and it was an article by an individual named…JustB.

JustB? Excuse me?

My first response, of course, was indignance. How dare this individual use a near-similar moniker as me (and my current business name)! And how dare she use it first, years before I announced it to the world and used it as my WWE Diva handle!

But her post was good and well thought out. Her post on Tiny Buddha was entitled, “When We Think Other People Are Better Than Us.”  It detailed her lamentations on how she compared herself to other women.

It sounded a little familiar, actuallly.

There are many days when every woman in the world (and I mean every—my sisters included) runs through my mind, and I consider how they fill so much more fulfilling roles than I ever would.

“She’s beautiful. She’s slim. She has a successful career. She has money. She’s married. She has nice clothes. She has brown eyes. She has blue eyes. She has smaller hands. She has a red top. She can walk faster than me.”

I think of how I’m not as pretty or as strong or as shapely or as warmhearted or as lovable or as calm or as sexy or as perky as other women too! Just who was this woman?

I clicked on the link to her blog and found a simple layout but very well-written set of articles. The silly anger in me melted away as I scrolled through her posts. Words that I have been afraid to include in my blog, for fear of typecasting myself, shot to the forefront.

Depression. Anxiety. Fear.

This B…was braver than I am. And yet, she was still me.

In fact, the similaries got even more frightening.

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